Friends – Part 1

Scripture tells us that the righteous must choose their friends carefully so we are not led astray by bad company whose negative influences will hurt us, tarnish our character and ruin our testimony before the world. (Proverbs 12:26; 1 Corinthians 15:33)

We can find examples of both good and bad friends in the Scriptures where everything that was written, was written to teach and encourage us.  

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin…Proverbs 18:24a

The kind of friend we avoid - Jonadab

2 Samuel 13 recounts the story of Amnon, one of King David’s sons, whose obsession with his half-sister, Tamar was so toxic as to affect both his mood and his appeearance. Amnon’s friend and adviser Jonadab, on learning the reason for Amnon’s melancholy, encouraged Amnon in a plan of deception, the consequences of which were severe for both Tamar and Amnon, and, in the long run, King David himself.

Amnon was to take to his bed under the pretense of illness and when the King came to visit request that Tamar be sent to his home to cook a special meal for him. The plot was to get Tamar to Amnon’s private quarters so he could be alone with her; and King David unknowingly agreed to a plan that would cause harm to his daughter.

Despite her protests Amnon forced himself on his sister and raped her. Then, instead of doing the right thing and ask his father to marry her, he threw her out of his house, thus she was condemned to live out the rest of her life a “shamed woman” – hidden away in the home of her biological brother Absalom. In the culture of that day, Tamar was now unmarriageable material, damaged goods who would never enjoy a family of her own.

Absalom knew what Amnon had done but he waited two years to take his revenge. Absalom tricked their father David into sending Amnon along with other brothers to, supposedly, help out with Absalom’s sheep shearing. Having enticed Amnon far away from the King, Absalom ordered his servants to murder Amnon; and then Absalom ran to another city.  

When David learned of Amnon’s murder he was angry as well as grieved for the murder of Amnon at his brother’s hand and became estranged from Absalom.

The result of all the original lies and deceptions culminated in Absalom’s own death on the battlefield. He developed such bitterness toward David that he attempted to take over the rule of Israel and his father’s throne and was himself murdered by one of David’s soldiers.

All this because Amnon was a weak man who accepted bad counsel from a friend and adviser.

But the story also told us something crucial about Jonadab’s character that marked him as a very bad friend – “And Jonadab was a very crafty man.” 2 Samuel 13:3

The dictionary defines a “crafty” person as one who is “clever at achieving one's aims by indirect or deceitful methods” and synonyms include, cunning, guileful, wily, artful, devious, sly, tricky, duplicitous, dishonest, underhand, cheating, deceitful, scheming, calculating, designing, evasive.

  

JESUS is a believer’s truest and best friend. How do these characteristics compare with what we know of Him?

Isaiah 53:9 tells us that there wasn’t any deceit in JESUS’s mouth. No falsehoods, no hypocrisy, no guile, no ambiguity, no duplicity, no evasiveness, nothing calculating, nothing designed to perpetrate a dishonest deed.  JESUS spoke only TRUTH!

We need friends like JESUS! Who will help us in our weakness to bear our burdens, rather than add to them!

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or to keep one. Robert E. Lee

To be continued….

Prayer and Thanksgiving: Holy GOD and Father in Heaven. We thank YOU for YOUR WORD that teaches, instructs, and corrects. We thank YOU for what we are learning about true friendship. Father, YOU have given us also a perfect example of a true friend in our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.  Above all, JESUS was without guile in HIS walk before YOU and your children ought to be the same so we learn to be without guile with each other. Help us to build and choose friendships built on truth and not deception and lies.  Search us and see if there is anything that is not real, or honest, or transparent in us and, by YOUR grace, root up all that is toxic and hateful, all hypocrisy, bad motives, and unholy thought that is not like JESUS, and replace it with that which will serve to nurture a friendship that will bring YOU honor and glory. We praise YOU, Father, and give honor to YOUR SON; our Redeemer and Friend! In HIS NAME we pray.  Amen!

Always by God’s Word and prayer,

Cecile