I suffered from the worst case of presumptuous spiritual pride until
the Holy Spirit convicted me.
How I was made aware of this fault within myself.
Several years ago I became a volunteer counselor at a Christian-based
non-profit crisis pregnancy ministry which provided free clinical and social services
aid to women. The client base was young, single, and often abortion-minded,
some of whom were repeats with a history stretching from the teen years to
young adulthood. Central to the ministry’s goal was to lead women and their
families to a new life in CHRIST.
The clinic policy was to have at least two volunteers
working together, to begin each shift with prayer and be a support and
knowledge base for each other so as to provide the maximum benefit to clients.
Often, we would share the names of difficult cases with each other and pray for
these on our own time.
About a year into my service I became aware of a
dissatisfaction within myself – I couldn’t say that any specific incident
triggered it but gradually it became clear to me that it was related to the
counseling ministry.
To my mind, I was doing everything right – I gave generously
of my time, was kind to clients, prayed with them, did follow-ups on my own
time to find and offer extras to enhance our service to clients and their unborn
babies.
My reputation as a good volunteer was solid. Until the Holy
Spirit exposed me to myself – showed me that man may look at the outside and be
pleased but GOD, the Father, looks at the heart and what He saw in mine did not
at all please Him.
GOD showed me that I was ministering from a spirit of pride
and I was hurting the heart of my Father. UGH! I was crushed!
Everything I did was commendable to others but on the inside
I wasn’t loving and GOD-honoring as one should be in ministry. Instead I was
ministering with a harsh spirit – self-righteous, blaming, criticizing,
fault-finding, and prideful. Seeing my clients as less than and me as their
superior savior.
Pride was the foundation of the ugliness I saw in myself and the key to our failure as Believers. It is what happens when we allow
the enemy to flood our hearts with a false enjoyment of our own self-importance
and drown out the loving kindness of the ONE to whom that distinction rightly
belong.
I saw that I wasn't truly listening to clients’ distress but was presumptuous in giving “good” advice with no real empathy attached. I began to recognize that in
discussing cases with other counselors my tone was disrespecting and my focus was on deficiencies only. I assessed everyone’s issue according to my own
preconceived ideas and expectations of what was acceptable, and my own
definition of “goodness.”
Until we walk in total obedience to GOD’s Law we are not true disciples and are poor examples of Believers.
People make very poor gods!
To GOD be the glory, what I very inadequately attempted to
be to others in His name, GOD became to me in truth! Mercifully and lovingly,
He showed me the error of my ways and gave me no rest until I repented and
asked for His help to change my heart and thus my attitude.
Such irony that when we become the repentant we ask for and
need the same grace we deny others. The love of restoration we don’t allow
others to see in the Father through us is the same love that He freely gives to
us so that we can be fully restored and reconciled back to Him.
JESUS confirms for us the greatest of GOD’s commandment in
the Law, that we: “’Love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is
the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your
neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two
commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40.
All that we are and do in GOD’s name and for His kingdom
must be tightly wrapped up within what is expressed in these quotations – love
for GOD and love for others.
First John 4:7-21 tells us why our claim to
be children of GOD who love our Father can be verified only by our love for others:
- GOD is love
- Whoever does not love does not know God...
- This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
- ….since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
- ….if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
- We love because he first loved us.
- Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.
- Whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
Scripture also tells us two other important facts about our
identity as GOD’s children:
- In this world we are like Jesus. 1 John 4:17
- …we not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18.
We represent JESUS to the world so we live like JESUS, the Word (who) became flesh and dwelt among
us… full of grace and truth. (John
1:14) We love in word and deed and with a pure heart.
How did I get to a place of joy in ministering with true humility and love?
To be continued…
Prayer and Thanksgiving: Our good GOD and faithful Father. Thank YOU for
YOUR goodness, mercy and grace. Thank YOU for a love beyond all understanding that caused YOU to give
YOUR only SON as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Thank YOU that we can love
because YOU are LOVE. Thank YOU for JESUS’ who, despite
being one with His Father, He did not use His divine power to appear greater
but humbled Himself and became a servant for us. Forgive us for prideful
behavior which grieves YOUR HOLY SPIRIT; remind us that YOU alone have the
authority to exalt. We thank YOU for healing us of the disease
of pride, forgiving our sins, crowning us with loving kindness and redeeming
our lives from the pit of darkness through JESUS CHRIST, our Savior and LORD;
to Him we give all honor and glory and in His precious NAME we pray!
Amen!
Always by God’s Word and prayer,
Cecile
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