A popular radio personality announced this past week that
her son has died by suicide. This dear one leaves behind a fiercely supportive network of family and friends who are both shocked and dismayed by a tragedy that is both horrifying and
heartbreaking, and without answers as to why intensive treatment, counseling and
unconditional love wasn’t enough to make him whole and keep him with them.
Suicide is a complicated subject, even for medical experts, so it is not the purpose
of this article to try to solve its complexities. I would like simply to
suggest that the children of GOD have a greater awareness of, at least, the basics of suicide for ourselves
and our loved ones and practice empathy for those who have known the pain of suicide.
It’s a fact – believers and unbelievers take their own lives.
Suicide does not discriminate among gender, age, or ethnicity
and, sadly, Christians commit suicide at the same rates as non-Christians.
All deaths are tragic but none could be darker or more
bewildering for families than suicide. Counselors call death by suicide a complicated grief or complicated bereavement, like death by
murder or terrorist attack. Family members must grieve the loss of the loved
one as well as face the trauma of the suicide.
As a parent, my instincts tell me that such a
trauma and the accompanying emotions could only be magnified when a teenage child
takes his own life. How can parents not suffer the deepest agony of blame, and soul-searching
retrospection when suicide prematurely rips away a child so cruelly?
It’s impossible to undo what’s done but we can do something to prevent what may.
According to consumer reports put out by the **US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), over 41,000 people die by suicide
each year in the United States – one person every 12-15 minutes. Suicide is the
10th leading cause of US deaths overall and the second leading cause of death
for young people ages 15 to 34. Some actual suicides could be missed and are reported
as accidents.
The NIMH reports that although suicidal behavior is
complex and there is no single cause, people most at risk tend to share certain
characteristics. The following are some signs that someone is thinking about
suicide:
- Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves
- Talking about feeling empty, hopeless, or having no reason to live
- Making a plan or looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online, stockpiling pills, or buying a gun
- Talking about great guilt or shame
- Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions
- Feeling unbearable pain (emotional pain or physical pain)
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Using alcohol or drugs more often
- Acting anxious or agitated
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Changing eating and/or sleeping habits
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Taking great risks that could lead to death, such as driving extremely fast
- Talking or thinking about death often
- Displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy
- Giving away important possessions
- Saying goodbye to friends and family
- Putting affairs in order, making a will
Among known risk factors for suicide are depression,
other mental disorders, or substance abuse disorder; family history; exposure
to others' suicidal behavior, such as that of family members, peers, or
celebrities – the latter being a major contributing factor for teenagers.
Christians we do not escape suicide and must have a proper response to suicide.
Christians generally have mixed views about suicide, some
see it as an unforgivable sin that sends people straight to hell while others
see it as not a sin at all.
My understanding of GOD’s WORD is that the blood of CHRIST is
enough to cover all sin, except that which blasphemes the Holy Spirit. Like adultery,
lying, fornication, stealing, etc., murder is an act against GOD, self-murder included. However, GOD’s WORD gives these assurances to all believers:
- Neither life nor death – not even death by suicide – can separate us from GOD's love when we are in CHRIST JESUS. Romans 8:28-39.
- We all sin and fall short of GOD’s standards but by His grace He freely makes us right in his sight through CHRIST JESUS who freed us from the penalty for our sin. Romans 3:23-24.
- JESUS is alive and sits at the Father’s right hand as our advocate to make intercession for us who are His – especially when we are incapable of doing so; by this JESUS keeps all saved who come to the Father through Him. Hebrews 7:25
The pain and hopelessness the suicidal must feel is beyond the
imagination of those who are not in that person's shoes. That one could be so desperate
for release as to choose death as a way of escape is not something most of us
would even think to do.
The families of these victims are victims themselves and
need our heartfelt prayers and encouragement. They need Biblical reassurance that their loved one who died of suicide in CHRIST has a promised hope
through CHRIST.
We should not pass judgement when we do not have the
authority to do so…let us not be too quick to condemn anyone to hell. God alone,
who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. James
4:12
Novelist Willa Cather, in her book My Ántonia, offered this very compassionate prayer at the funeral of a suicide: "Oh,
great and just God, no man among us knows what the sleeper knows, nor is it for
us to judge what lies between him and Thee."
Let us do only what our Father commands and pray - that He provides grace,
comfort, strength and mercy for all concerned.
**Additional prevention resources listed below.
Prayer and Thanksgiving: Our Abba Father, we pray for those
who are affected by the pain and sorrow and hopelessness of suicide and for those
whose pain is buried too deep for others to conceive and so beyond their
ability to bear that their one constant thought is to escape their torment by
suicide. Father we come to YOU, because YOU are the GOD who sees all, knows
all, and understands all – nothing is hidden from your sight. YOU are familiar
with our deepest hurts and the unshed tears hidden behind frozen smiles. Father
we ask for discernment for those who do not yet see…open eyes and show us how to
help and give hope and encouragement. Teach us how to properly bear one another’s
burdens in the spiritual by prayer and in the practical by seeking medical aid.
When we don’t know how to pray remind us that we have a High PRIEST who is
always interceding for the broken, and who has promised to and will save to the
uttermost. Remind us that in life and in death, JESUS remains our hope. And we thank
YOU for sending Him to save and not to condemn us. We give all glory, all
honor, and all praise to YOU as we ask all things in JESUS’ NAME. Amen!
Always by God’s Word and prayer,
Cecile
Suicide hotlines:
(800) 273-TALK (8255)
800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
Suicide prevention and awareness sites:
Grief support for suicide survivors:
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