Don't Let Anger Control You: Steps to Resolving Conflict

True confession, faced with conflict are you an avoider or an aggressor?

People in relationships have differences, offend and are offended. 

As fallible human beings we disagree, disappoint, demand too much, and we hurt each other’s feelings. The more intimate our relationships, the deeper the hurts can be.  

Some years ago I learned six easy-to-apply principles for effective conflict resolution that are defined in an acrostic using the word “FIGHTS”:

1. Face the other person – don’t turn away or allow the other person to turn away. Address the problem as soon as possible and avoid the giving the silent treatment.
2. Ignore the temptation to get side-tracked by topics that are not relevant to the issue at hand; admit fault quickly and completely.
3. Guard your tongue – be careful not to say anything you would later regret having said; avoid name-calling.
4. History belongs in the past; don’t bring old issues into the current situation.
5. Touch the other person; some physical contact shows that both people are on the same side or team and not against one another.
6. Stay in there and finish the fight to each other’s satisfaction; do not walk away and leave anything on the table unresolved.

Whether at work, school, church, in our homes, or in our neighborhoods etc., we will experience some conflict.

Children of God must be willing to reconcile differences. We have the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5: 22-23) – as the creed by which we are to live.  If we belong to the Father we belong to His Son, Jesus and in Him we can live this out successfully.

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.” Galatians 5: 24-25

We can get angry and fight, but we must do it God’s way.

 “Don’t sin by letting anger control you; anger gives a foothold to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27).

Prayer and Thanksgiving: Holy Father, we honor and glorify you! Thank you for your Word that guides us so we don’t have to figure out things on your own; teach us to be confident in it and in your love, it is your love that saves and leads us to repentance and obedience. Help us by your Spirit to commit our hurts to you and quickly admit our own wrong-doing. By our words, our attitude, our love for others, our faith, and our integrity we are examples of godliness to the rest of the world and bring glory to your name. Help us not to give in to our selfish desires so we can do Your will. Remind us that you are the only Wise God to whom all dominion and power belong for ever and ever. We pray and ask all things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Always by God’s Word and prayer,

Cecile